so explain again why im purple
no
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
