I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
