I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
