hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize