Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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