i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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