dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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