What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she looked like the before picture.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
