We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
