Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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