he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
porn star boner night. come get it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
