Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
