dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
