Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
