Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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