How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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