Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
