I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
