okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
