I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
