I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
