I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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