Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The ass gains better be worth it
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