"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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