Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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