A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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