Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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