I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
