This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
