Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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