yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize