U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
false alarm, still single
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
