I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
