I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
