you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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