Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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