Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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