i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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