Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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