Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
