your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
