loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
