So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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