so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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