I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
