Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
