Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
