lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize