Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
