Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
