Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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