What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I look better un-naked...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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