She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
