btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
