wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I wish there were birth control emojis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
