what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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