My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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