She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
