in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize