and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
