pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
