I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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