I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize