My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
